Doing an American Duty

voted

I voted.. For the first time in my adult life, I voted. I always avoided politics like the plague over the years but after the last year or so of all of the “trash” being demonstrated by certain individuals, I wanted to make sure I got my vote in. I’m not going to get all political and talk about who I did or didn’t vote for. I do think that you need to stop what you are doing and go vote yourselves. How will we ever be heard if you never do your part?

This country needs to wake up. American people need to realize that their voices do matter and they do need to be heard. We were once a respected country and now we’re just one to joke about.  It’s a sad world we live in when the amount of corruption constantly being brought to light is able to be allowed. When did this country lose its backbone? Stand up for what you believe in.

Go vote. Help Americans gain back what’s theirs.

Being Too Hard on Myself

I’m the type of person that unfortunately doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence. Sure, I can build it up over time and feel confident in what I’ve been doing. However, when you put me into a situation that is unfamiliar or new — let the harsh self-criticism begin.

With my job, I’ve grown confident in the daily activities that I do. I’ve grown familiar with the operation of things and I’ve gotten to know most everyone that I work with. I like doing a good job, I want to do a good job, and I expect to do a good job. I’ve been that way with every job that I’ve ever had. Lately though, I’ve had to fill in at another hospital and it has left me feeling so out of sorts.

I know what I SHOULD be doing throughout each day but it’s much easier said than done. I am not familiar with the people and only have brief knowledge of the versions of programs they use. Sadly, the two hospitals use the same program but use different versions of it which just complicates things. It overall has gone very well for me… until today.

At around 2:00, it became so incredibly busy. The phones were ringing constantly, sometimes all 4-5 lines going at one time. That by itself is busy but manageable. While that was going on, you also have the doctor(s) calling your name to get so-and-so on the line or needing you to do something for them. This combo is kind of busy but again, also manageable. THEN, you also have to hang up the outside films so that the doctor can read/dictate the findings. Each one of these by themselves is fine or a combination of 2 is okay. Today though, all of it was going on at the same time. 4-5 phone lines ringing at the same time, doctors needing you to do something, trying to also hang up the films, AND trying to get problems resolved — I just felt so overwhelmed. For the first time since getting hired with this job, I lost my grip with it all. I felt panicked.

I know how to multi-task. I’m able to do it and DO do it all the time, every day. I’m really upset with the fact that I allowed myself to panic instead of taking a deep breath and remaining calm. At one point when I had finished hanging films with the doctor, he had said I was so focused on hanging them up the right way each time whereas he would have been able to read them even if I had hung them upside down. Without actually saying it, he said what I know to be true. That is, that I am trying to do things perfect. No one expects me to be perfect. No one expects me to have this other hospital down as well as I do at the one I normally work at. Me being my usual self, I was trying to do it all and without mistakes. The more I tried to do everything right, the MORE I messed up.

I feel let down. I know I’m being extra hard on myself, but I just cannot help it. I let my nerves get the better of me. I did apologize to the doctor I was hanging the films for because it was just a crazy mess. He said it was okay but I know my mistakes cost him valuable time. He was busy himself and I’m sure he didn’t appreciate having to slow down to deal with my incompetence. I think this is the first day I’ve had in the five months I’ve been there where I’ve messed up like this. I suppose that alone should cheer me up. In five months, this was the first bad day… It sounds great when you say it like that but I keep looking back at how the day went and I just cringe.

*Sigh* All I can do is learn from this and move forward. Like my husband is always telling me — don’t dwell on things. Learn from them, accept them, and move on. I am trying to do just that. I’m slowly relaxing from the craziness that was my day but it’s slow-going. At least now I know how crazy it can get and I did survive it. The more I do the job at that hospital, the more I will learn and the easier it will get. Bottom line, I still like to do a good job, I want to do a good job, and I expect to do a good job. I just need to give myself room to learn and make mistakes. Thanks for listening to me ramble/vent..

 

Hospitals… How Insightful!!

Over the short amount of time since I was hired for this job, I have learned a great deal. Aside from the job duties and functions you would expect to learn, I’ve also learned more about the “behind the scenes” activity. I think this has been the most interesting to me.

You know when you walk into a hospital to be seen that you should expect to wait a while. You count on spending at least a couple of hours from start to finish. I mean, it is a hospital after all! 🙂

What you don’t know and don’t see are all of the things that take place while you are waiting in a room. There are a few radiologists that are in a darkened room reading all of the MRI’s, x-rays, CT scans, ultrasounds, etc. for the hospital. Once they look at the study and read it, their dictation is sent to transcription so it can be typed up into a report that your doctor can then see. Obviously, the really critical patients will have reports that are called in directly to the doctor for them so that the doctor gets a quicker “update” on what’s going on. However, most studies are performed and handled as I mentioned above. The radiologists also get interrupted by phone calls that may come in, other urgent matters that come up, and doctors that happen to stop in with questions.

The amount or number of studies for the radiologists are constant. They may get all of them currently on the list read and then think it’s safe to get something quick to eat in the cafeteria, but by the time they’ve managed to walk down the hall — there are 10 more studies there waiting. Not only do these radiologists read the studies that come in, but they have their own procedures that they also perform. They are doctors, too! They have their own biopsies and such that they have to perform on any given day as well. At the hospital that I work in, these same doctors also read Mammo’s done. So women (or men) that come in and have a mammo done to check for breast cancer and the like, will all be read by one of the radiologists there in the reading room.

My point is… I have all new respect for doctors and I am more understanding of the long waits. They have A LOT on their plates and I am only seeing it from this one department’s point of view! The whole hospital is composed of many departments and each one is just as busy! I never truly understood just how busy a hospital was and it’s really great to be able to see the “inner workings” of how things are handled. If you get impatient from waiting on doctors, try to understand that they are just incredibly busy. They have important jobs and honestly, I’d rather them go at the pace they feel comfortable with and do their job correctly than to rush around because someone is impatient. Their job is both rewarding and underappreciated.

Keep It In or Speak Your Mind?

There comes a point in time when you have to decide what is best for you. How many times will you keep something bottled up inside instead of just talking about whatever it is?

For the most part, I will keep things bottled up and be the “sweet girl” in the group. However, years of being this way and keeping things bottled up inside of you and never allowing yourself to get it all out will begin to eat its way at you.

Recently, a family issue came up. I let people just vent while I remained quiet. By the end or the very peak of the issue, I had reached my limit. I know that others find it easy to talk to me and I try to be there when someone needs to vent. However, I felt like I needed to share my own opinions before I exploded. As a result, I wrote letters to those directly involved that I needed to say things to.

Letters are not a preferred method of the best, but they are my way of ensuring that I am able to fully express all of my opinions/feelings without being interrupted or losing my train of thought. Naturally, there is a downside to handling it in this way. Most people would rather speak face to face rather than read a letter.

Whether I chose to speak face to face or in a letter, the results are the same. You simply cannot please everyone. I get tired of keeping everything to myself in order to keep people happy because it just makes ME unhappy in the end. When so many others speak their mind, I should be allowed to do the same. I’d rather make someone mad at me for being honest than because I lied/kept something to myself when it really needed to be said.

Finally, I Have It

Reflecting back on the last few months and last few blog posts, I had been searching for a decent job. I’m not getting any younger and I wanted a stable and secure job that I could depend on. For the past month now, I have been working in a position that I’m actually happy with and believe that it will be a long term job.

A while back, I had applied for a position with a Radiology company that works within the hospital. I didn’t honestly think I would hear back but I did. I went in and ended up getting called in for a second interview. I was hired and I’ve been “out of training” for the past two weeks running things on my own. No, I’m not a manager or anything like that. I work in the reading room and I’m a Radiologist’s assistant. If a report needs pulled, I’ll get it. If films need hung so they can review them, I do it. I answer the phones. I’m a secretary and just there to help the doctors with whatever it is they may need.

65262-radiologyThe best part of getting hired on is the benefits. I get overtime and they welcome it. I have really good medical now.. If I have a doctor’s appointment, I can go in and there is no copay. I also have long term and short term disability as well as dental and vision. The only thing I have a copay on is vision and even then, it’s only $10. The payments out of each of my checks for this is a steal, honestly. With my last job, to get medical along with dental and vision would have run us about $150+ every payday and it was just bare minimum coverage. With this job I have now, I pay about a third of that and I have a LOT better coverage. This company also offers 401k and a few other things. Another nice feature is that they’ll reimburse me for the cost of my scrubs each year up to $200 I believe.

Everyone with this company is amazing. They are super friendly and very welcoming. Anything that I have needed help with, they have gone above and beyond to help me with. They’re also very family friendly. I’m quickly finding out that family is a high priority with them. If something comes up and you need something or have to leave early for a family emergency, they’ll be right there to help you in any way. I truly think I have found the job for me for long term. Not only that but a little over 10 years ago, I had worked as a temp in a hospital. It lasted about a year and then the job/assignment ended. Ever since then, I have wanted to work in a hospital just because I liked it. I still don’t know quite what it is about the hospital that appeals to me so much since I’m not a doctor or a nurse. I just know that I have tried and tried over the years for different positions and was never hired. That’s why I was so surprised that I got this job. Granted, I’m not working for the actual company but the radiology company that I suppose is contracted through the hospital. Still, I am in the hospital when I work each day and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

For two weeks now, I’ve been done with training and “running things” on my own. Sure, I still have questions on things and definitely don’t know everything I need to know yet. The doctors have been amazing and very patient with me, which I appreciate immensely! I’ve started to find that I’m remembering how to do things and am finally settling in. It’s satisfying when things finally “click” and I can resolve issues without having to ask about it. Being that we are working in the medical profession, I don’t want to make mistakes or delay something while I’m having to find out how to get it done. I want to do a great job and help the doctors as much as I can.

I’m just really, really happy with everything. Everything happens for a reason and I think I was meant to apply for this job and I am so glad that I did..

Tears For America

The title says it all.

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Whenever I drive by this flag, all I can do is feel depressed and want to cry. We live in the United States of America. It stood and stands for so much more than it is right now. The country is falling apart from the inside out and I’m powerless to stop it. I know there are so many Americans that feel strongly for this country and believe it needs to be brought back to the way it was. So where are they? Why haven’t they all banned together and brought down the power hungry people that are corrupting this country? You see it so often now that people band together for something they believe in and they cause chaos. Whether the chaos is for a good cause, well… My point is, they feel strongly about something and therefore do something about it. We’ve known now for quite some time about the political corruption and horrible acts going on and yet no one has done anything. Why? Scared? I guess so. Honestly, I am.

With everything going on lately, I’m becoming scared to leave my own home. It’s exactly what the violators of this country want. They want us to become scared. As much as I don’t want to give them that satisfaction, I am scared. Who will be the next target? Where will be the next hate crime? No one is safe anymore.

Growing up, we always learned about other countries and the different struggles/wars they went through with different leaders. We learned about those and we grew to appreciate how great America was. Now WE are beginning to live the stories/history that we learned about. It’s sad and depressing. I fear for my safety. Even worse, I fear for my children. What kind of world is this for our children to live in?

At what point did people become so self absorbed and so sensitive that any time something happened, it must automatically be an attack against a specific religion, race, sex, etc.? Who decided what skin color was better than another that it warranted so much violence? I’m sorry but ALL lives matter. I don’t care if you are white, purple, black, pink, or polka dot. We ALL matter. Time and time again when a serious disaster has happened, people of ALL races have gathered and helped one another. So why are we tearing each other apart? Sadly, people are too easily influenced by peer pressure and bribes. They give in and allow themselves to be convinced of false beliefs. The country has turned its people into a bunch of babies whining about hurt feelings.

I can’t change the way people are behaving. I can’t suddenly make the world a safer place for myself or my family. I may not be able to change what’s outside of our house, but I’m changing what’s inside. I don’t want my children to see that constantly. Eventually it will happen in front of them, for that I am sure. Until that day comes, I’m going to shield them from it the best that I can. There are still good people in this world. Eventually the good will overcome the evil.

With everything going on right now, you still see people going to work. You still see people on Facebook or other social media networking sites. You still see people posting vlogs on YouTube. We continue to go about our daily lives in a state of denial. We try to live each day pretending that we will be okay. Maybe not pretending, but hoping. Heck, maybe not even that. We think that as bad as it is now, it can’t get too much worse because people would ban together eventually and weed out the evil to bring this country back again. Maybe we will and maybe we won’t. Is it wrong to be in denial each day? Possibly. Honestly, I think that’s about all any of us can do right now. It’s okay to be in denial but don’t let a fallen American be left behind. Help them up. Help them find safety. One day it could be you that has fallen.

Finally, my heart goes out to all of those recently lost in the violence going on in Dallas and all over the country.  I’m sorry for the families that lost their loved ones. I’m sorry for the young children growing up in this world. I’m sorry for everyone affected by it all. I’m sorry that we let our guard down as a whole and let the idiotic, power hungry, corrupted politicians into our beautiful country. One day it will backfire on them. One day America will stand tall again with its head held high. I can’t wait for that day. For now, I will feel sad and do what I can to protect/shield my children. When we eventually win back our country and it stands beautiful again, I’ll no longer be sad. I’ll be proud and I’ll be there standing next to the American Flag. I’ll be crying but not because I’m sad, but because of the amount of respect I have for it and the millions of people that have died, are dying, and will die to keep that flag flying.

 

#AllLivesMatter

A Little Older and a Little Wiser

I recently celebrated my 36th birthday and with that came a lot of reflection.

I have 3 kids that I love as well as my husband for nearly 18 years. That alone is enough to make anyone proud yet I don’t feel complete. We don’t own a home which is both good and bad. We’ve moved so much over the years and we’ve had to start fresh every time to the point that I just don’t feel like we’ve done anything of real quality. My husband and I have worked in a variety of jobs over the years. His focus has been on computers as much as possible but times can be tough and some jobs just aren’t anywhere near computer related. He’s trying to find his place in this world and life can be full of obstacles. I’ve been interested in the office/administrative jobs and for the past 10+ years, I’ve managed to maintain that type of job role. I still haven’t found the one job that I could see myself being in for any long term and this is my dilemma.

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No one really wants to work their life away. However, if we’re going to work we should be able to do it in a job that we’re happy in. We so desperately want to find this type of job but just aren’t there yet. For reasons I really don’t want to get into right now, I have 3 years in towards obtaining a Bachelor’s degree but progress on that was halted quite a few years ago. Same situation with my husband although he has made some progress on his recently. *Sigh* Again, this is a story for another future post.

I guess the point of this blog post is to say that with the older I get, the more I realize that my past mistakes that I thought were nothing at the time, are coming back to haunt me now and I’m paying for them. When you’re young and freshly entering into the adult world and you make a mistake, you don’t truly realize that what you do then is going to greatly affect your life in your later years. If you make the proper choices from day one, you’re more likely to succeed later in life. If nothing else, I will have learned enough of life’s lessons to teach my children what NOT to do.

I will say that because of this slow realization, I have begun to make changes that will hopefully improve our lives and secure us better in the future. We’ve started to develop a plan of “attack”.  Saving money is a priority. I have poor credit mostly due to medical bills but they’re resolvable. We’re going to be actively working on getting things paid off so that I can hopefully rebuild my credit. We’re going to work on finding a job that provides security and stability. We’ll also work on finding a long term place to place down roots.

I just wish I would have grown up and made these realizations earlier in my life.  Be smart in your decisions. Remember that everything you do now will impact your life in the future. Do that, and you’re one step ahead of the game!

New Job in T minus 2 Weeks

Well, it’s been nearly a month since I last posted. I’ve been applying all over the place for jobs and finally got hired. I’ll start in two weeks. I’m relieved to have found one. I don’t have much to say today so this post will be extremely short. However, I will share a little with you. We recently moved into our apartment back in November. It’s been slow going but we’ve decorated it nicely.. It’s still pretty empty compared to most places we’ve lived in the past but when you have to start from scratch, it just takes time. Here’s a couple pictures.. 🙂

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I’ll probably share more as we get more done… I have some of the kid’s bedrooms but I’m not quite ready to share those.. 🙂 Thanks for stopping in!

Still Searching…

Last time I had posted, I shared that I was starting a new job. I was so excited about it and I was that way all through training. However, when it came time for all that training to be tested and go live with customers, I lost it. For the first time in my entire life, I had a panic attack. I didn’t sleep the night before and was stressed/nervous all before the shift that day. When I finally went live and dealt with customers, it all came crashing down on me.. There were technical issues that I was having along with the fact that the calls kept coming in before I could finish up the first ticket/customer I was working on.  It’s a long story that I just don’t want to get into. However, I ended up just writing my trainer as well as HR and just explained what happened. I felt and do feel that it’s just not the right fit for me. I just wish it could have worked out differently.  It was Monday that this happened and today is Wednesday. I’m still pretty bummed over the outcome but such is life. I will find something better suited for me anyway. My husband was and is very supported which has helped a lot.

Support.com has a lot to offer the right person but I was just not that person.

More Changes

For the past 2 1/2 years now, I have worked from home as a transcriptionist for a court reporting agency.  I had been lucky enough that because I was already hired on with them, when we moved; I was able to continue working for them.  It was nice to be able to say I had an income just after moving to another state.  However, that is where the nice part ended.  While I liked the job, the pay was only .65 per page and the amount of hours I put into it, made it not so worth it.  It was considered a part time job, yet I put in full time hours.  Here and there, I looked for other work from home jobs.  My husband works for a company from home but I always thought it was out of my realm of experience.

That being said, I continued to think that even when he had suggested that I apply.  More so to just appease him, I went ahead and applied.  Well, believe it or not, I passed the first round of the application process and they set up an interview with me. 🙂  I ended up passing that as well!!  I am so extremely pleased with myself.  After it was confirmed that i was hired, I turned in my notice with my present employer.  I still feel the urge to fall into the same routine I  did as a transcriptionist because I did it for quite a while but that will quickly pass.

Anyway… Yesterday was my first day of training with the new company. So far, (ask me again in a few weeks) I am liking the job.  My husband deals with more of the higher technical aspects of customer calls whereas I will be responsible for one client’s customers who have issues connecting devices to their wireless.

So.. what company is it that I am working for?  First off, I am working from home still. So, this will allow me to continue homeschooling and still bring in a decent income! The best part of our family with homeschooling is that homeschooling is so flexible. We work it around our work schedules, our desires as far as family time, etc.  So, the kids are given their school work before my husband and I start our work shift.  The kids then work on their school work throughout that time and we check in with them during our breaks and lunch breaks. After work, we go over their school work and then it’s family time.  Because our family time works around work, our schedule tends to make us more night owls. It all works out the same as it would if you went out of the house, worked a 9-5 job, and then came home for family time.  This is what works for us..

Ah, right — the name of the company.  It’s Support.Com. I know for some, this may not sound legit but trust me, it is.  They’ve been around for quite a while actually.  I hope that I continue to like the job. I know it will have its ups and downs being that I’m dealing with customer service. However, I have dealt with customer service my entire life that I’ve been working.  So, rude customers are nothing new to me. I won’t always deal with an upset customer. Over the many years I have been in customer service, I have found that you will speak with quite a few great customers.

If you would like to check out Support.Com for yourself to learn more about them and see what positions are open, click on their logo below!! Wish me luck!

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